I AM BLOGGER. HEAR ME ROAR!

Hello giant, technological expanse formally known as the internet.Your name henceforth shall be Rosalind. I have come to serve you the sweet nectar of opinion and style in these times of pop-cultural-genocide and shoes with no arch support. Today's world is one in which Alaskan governers with a constituency comprised of exactly three moose, and hoards of Disney pop singers that screech at a frequency only dogs can tolerate (NOTE: questionable.) have taken over the airwaves, and consequently our minds. However, if I may speak on the behalf of old-timey America, this is NOT what we envisioned for the new millenium.



I, personally, still dream of living like the Jetsons-- with flying cars and robot maids and talking dogs-- the whole nine yards. And, unlike many, I still have faith that our generation can crawl out of our friendly neighborhood "Pedophile of a Thousand Faces" ( i.e. E. Recession, G. Warming or H. Montana)'s oven and scrape up quite a nice little future for ourselves and our posterity. AND SO, I invite you to live in my metaphorical closet, where I will feed you small morsels of fresh air and tinsel as we embark on our journey to this new future... that i will name... uh... Vita's Gate.

To deliver a vivid mental image of our journey, I shall deliver to you the sights, smells, sounds... and.. uncomfortable child noises... of an can-ind-erican girl living in a town that somewhat resembles a boba burrito. I can see this all unfolding before me.... YES THIS IS THE BEGINNING OF A BEAUTIFUL RELATIONSHIP (HOWEVER UNREQUITED). There will be thrills, chills, tears and some knee-slapping puns in the near future. And if you are willing to stay with me through it all, you may just be rewarded with a golden ticket (kind of like the ones Willy Wonka gave out... only not with the intention of forever scarring little children in a run-down candy factory with a questionable health grade).

And with that, Rosalind, my chinese checkers pieces (by the names Bunbury and Earnest) and I bid you ADIEU.